Days, months, weeks, and sometimes even years - they all go by us. If we're lucky, we tame them long enough to feel like we were not just standing there as they went by; sometimes we actually feel present in them. But not enough. Too many amazing and wonderful things go by without so much as a nod or moment of appreciation. Because life happens. Because we get busy. Because we just keep going. This blog is a way to stop all of that spinning and pause some of those quiet, simple little moments that make us smile. Being grateful is not something that we just are - being grateful is something we should actively do. This is two friends living many, many miles apart, sharing their tiny little moments of gratitude in pictures with each other and with the world.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Asking questions differently

So I didn't know how to take a picture of what I'm grateful for, so I decided to draw one.  Drawing, obviously, is not my strong suit. 

I read an article yesterday about this woman who was a stay at home mom with three kids - her husband would come home from work and ask her, "hey, how was your day?"  And she said that she didn't even know how to respond - it was full of so many things, so many emotions - both good and bad - and that her "day" seemed like a lifetime compared to his day - that she ended up thinking it was too much effort, and to hard to explain, so she just said, "fine."  And if you think about it, that does not stimulate any kind of conversation.  It's just a blanket statement from one person to another; nothing is really shared.  For people who love each other, sharing needs to happen.  That's why they're in their marriages, their friendships - because they want to share things together. 

I dont have any kids, but I know (I think) how she feels.  When I have an insanely crazy day, filled with a billion emotions and tiny details that drain me and motivate me at the same time - and someone asks how my day was, I see 78 million still frames of what happened in my day.  I can not even begin to sort them or explain that to someone.  If a picture is worth 1000 words, then I have 78,000,000,000 words to try to fit into a response.  aint gonna happen.  however, the point of the article was to ask questions differently.  For example, if you know that I coach tennis and tennis season just started, you could ask, "What kind of drills are you having the kids do to improve?" Or, "Was it hard to make cuts?"  I can answer those questions and feel like someone is listening.  Someone cares.  Someone is paying attention.  It will not exhaust me to think of an answer, and it will not exhaust you to listen it.  We can can share conversation.

So. I guess what I am saying here is that I am grateful for the idea of asking questions differently.  I am guilty of it, too - but I am going to be conscious of asking people that I care about the kinds of questions that let them know I do, in fact, care about them and listen to them. 
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1 comment:

  1. AnonymousJanuary 29, 2014 at 4:50 PM

    Thank you for making me see a better way to communicate!

    ReplyDelete

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