Grateful #40 - Forks

Sometimes I imagine what it’s like to be one of those people who crave the energy of the masses – one of those people who can walk into a room and be completely fulfilled by the constant buzz and movement of conversing with the crowds.  I’m curious about what it’s like to be the center of attention, reciting the most ordinary facts in what seemingly comes off as chocolate-coated charisma.   I know people like this; the common thread in all of them is extroverted and it’s shiny. 

I do not have that thread; being in large groups makes me come undone.   My sugar rush is in the quiet, alone-time act of writing.   

With all this extra summer time on my hands, I wanted to spend it doing what makes me happy.  What makes me shiny.    My short-term goals, my long term goals, my bucket list, my dreams, and my wish list always include: write a book a someday.  I can’t remember not wanting to do it.  I’ve always just assumed it would happen in some very romantic, serendipitous way – to the point that I never really had to take ownership of it; I just assumed it would magically happen. 

From writing this blog, (and if you remember, my goal was to write in it at least 4 times a week) I realized that writing is not only time-consuming and hard, but it is a craft – it’s something that you have to work at and on – it’s something that takes planning and drafting and editing.  It’s something that doesn’t just happen because we think it should happen.   And so with that lesson staring blankly (sometimes literally) at me, I decided to go for it. 

But I’m stuck and I need your advice.   The proverbial fork is this:  Write a memoir/non-fiction style book, similar in style to these blogs, which would hopefully leave the reader feeling like he or she could identify with someone.  That we all understand.  That we all have the same thoughts and fears.  That’s the bottom line in all of this - I want to connect through our similarities, not isolate each other by highlighting our differences. 

OR.

I could put on my best American novelist hat, which I’ve never even tried on, and delve into the world of fictional characters and made up city streets covered in secrets and folklore.  I could try my hand at being someone else.  Someone else’s perspective.  Someone else’s thoughts, friends, and feelings.   

This fork is the last thing that will stop me from chasing my dream.  I just need a little push in the right direction.  I am grateful for spotting my road block instead of plowing into a brick a wall.   Any advice or thoughts are welcomed.  With your help,  my story cloud just may have a silverware lining.